Sometimes I think I created the Feelings to help other people who might be struggling with emotions that are too big to deal with.
Other times I think I created them to help myself and the emotions I struggle to deal with.
I’m hypersensitive. In every sense. My eye sight is noticeably keen. I pick up on tiny details or see little insects from quite a way away. I notice a lot that others don’t (this is not always a good thing).
My ears are overly sensitive. I can really struggle sometimes in loud surroundings and have had some really bad experiences with noisy neighbours where I end up in tears most nights.
If I get a bug it goes straight to my head. Always. Everything hurts me then. I’m tempted to get that daith piercing people are talking about to try and limit the amount of headaches I get. I’m not 100% sold on the idea yet. I’m needle phobic.
The worst part of it all though, is that I feel too much. I do love that I’m emotional and that I am passionate and I think people accept me for it. But sometimes things hurt too much and I feel completely overwhelmed.
Feelings that aren’t even mine can sometimes be too much for me. Watching people I love hurt, hurts. Stupid things, that I can’t even control, that are in the past, just wash over me and I can feel it in my heart.
My overactive subconscious doesn’t help as it’s always making links and associations that remind me of things that can be too sad.
I know that all this makes me a rollercoaster of a human. I am aware that it can be a bit much for other people. I’m not an angry person. I’m generally very happy and silly and excitable. But the lows can be very low and can catch me off guard. In those moments I curl up and I cry and if I’m hugged, they don’t last as long.
There are plenty of people in this world and in my life who never understood me and maybe never will. Who don’t know why I care so much or why I let things bother me. Like it’s a choice I make and should just stop it.
One of the good things about it all is that I have found people along the way that are truly wonderful. They too feel things. They understand me and they accept me the way I am. They are kind and kindred souls. Some of them I’m lucky to be related to, others I’ve met through my journeys in life. With some of these beings, we can understand each other’s feelings without having to talk. Body language says so much that lots of people don’t seem to notice. It’s a safe feeling being around these types of people.
I think, when you are hypersensitive and an emotional creature, you need to make sure that you surround yourself with these positive people and move on from the others. Something I’ve spent my life struggling to do. Advice that’s much easier to give than to act out. But deep down I know that’s the best way.
So maybe I created the Feelings for you and for me. For everyone whose emotions grow too big to deal with alone. For anyone who’s felt lonely at the hands of their emotions. To remind you all that you are not alone, you are not the only one not coping and that there are lots of us around to remind you that you are strong.