‘Gyre’ 2021

The currents are strong.

They move and change and drag us along in their wake.

Yet they are predictable.  Change is predictable.

We fight it and fear it, but we know it will happen and often we have no control over it.

When it comes to our own health, things become even scarier.

I spent 2020 fighting to control the uncontrollable during a pandemic, with no clue what was yet to come for me.  The utter lack of control I would have over my own body.

They tell you to seek help if you feel that something is wrong, yet I had to push and push to be heard.  When they eventually took me seriously and stopped telling me it was ‘just stress’ I felt the change that began last year, develop even further.

The gyres took hold of me and dragged me along, predictability in the essence of change, yet the chaos so out of control. 

A benign brain tumor – a prolactinoma – that affects my body significantly. Alters who I am as a woman.

They diagnosed it at the start of 2021. I had been in and out for testing for the tail end of 2020 and finally they found the cause. An MRI to confirm and then medication for life. It’s not life threatening, it’s under control now, but it affects me in ways I had not anticipated.